In the corporate world of 2025, where buzzwords like "AI-enabled" and "digital transformation" dominate boardrooms, a viral monologue from an anonymous tech executive has captured the absurdity of rushing into AI adoption without scrutiny.
Shared on X (formerly Twitter) by user @gothburz on December 19, 2025, the post humorously dissects the rollout of Microsoft Copilot across 4,000 employees, highlighting inflated promises, minimal usage, and creative metrics that mask reality. This piece resonates amid growing debates on AI's true ROI in business, where tools like Copilot promise productivity boosts but often deliver mixed results.
Below, we present a verbatim retelling of the monologue, followed by an analysis enriched with real-world facts on Copilot's pricing, adoption rates, and criticisms.
Verbatim Retelling of the Author's Monologue
"In the last quarter, I implemented Microsoft Copilot for 4000 employees.
$30 per seat per month.
$1.4 million per year.
I called it 'digital transformation'.
The board of directors liked this wording.
They approved it in eleven minutes.
No one asked what it would actually do.
Including me.
I told everyone that it would 'increase productivity by 10 times'.
This is not a real number.
But it sounds like a real one.
HR asked how we would measure this 10-fold increase.
I said we would 'leverage analytical dashboards'.
The questions stopped.
Three months later, I checked the usage reports.
47 people opened it.
12 used it more than once.
One of them is me.
I used it to paraphrase a letter that I could read in 30 seconds.
It took 45 seconds.
Plus time to fix hallucinations.
But I called it a 'successful pilot'.
Success means the pilot didn't explicitly fail.
The CFO asked about ROI.
I showed him a graph.
The graph went up and to the right.
It measured 'AI-enablement'.
I made up this metric.
He nodded approvingly.
Now we are 'AI-enabled'.
I don't know what that means.
But it's in our investor presentation.
The senior developer asked why we don't use Claude or ChatGPT.
I said we need 'enterprise security'.
He asked what that means.
I said 'compliance'.
He asked what kind of compliance.
I said 'all kinds'.
He looked skeptical.
I scheduled him a 'career development meeting'.
The questions stopped.
Microsoft sent a team for a case study.
They wanted to present us as a success story.
I said we 'saved 40,000 hours'.
I calculated this figure by multiplying the number of employees by a number I made up.
They didn't check.
They never check.
Now we are on Microsoft's website.
'Global company achieved 40,000 hours of productivity savings with Copilot'.
The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.
He got 3000 likes.
He never used Copilot.
None of the leadership used it.
We have an exception.
'Strategic focus requires minimal digital distractions'.
I wrote this rule.
Licenses renew next month.
I'm requesting an extension.
Another 5000 seats.
We didn't use the first 4000.
But this time we will 'ensure adoption'.
Adoption means mandatory training.
Training means a 45-minute webinar that no one watches.
But completion will be tracked.
Completion is a metric.
Metrics go into dashboards.
Dashboards go into presentations for the board.
Presentations for the board get me a promotion.
By the third quarter, I will be a senior vice president.
I still don't know what Copilot does.
But I know what it's for.
It's for showing that we 'invest in AI'.
Investments mean spending.
Spending means commitment.
Commitment means we take the future seriously.
The future is what I say.
As long as the graph goes up and to the right."
The Reality Behind the Satire: Copilot's Corporate Adoption in 2025
This monologue taps into a familiar narrative in enterprise tech: the allure of AI promises versus the grind of implementation. Microsoft Copilot, an AI assistant integrated into Microsoft 365, costs $30 per user per month, aligning with the author's $1.4 million annual figure for 4,000 seats.
Launched in 2023 and expanded by 2025, it aims to boost productivity through features like email summarization, meeting recaps, and code generation, but adoption challenges persist.
Microsoft's own 2025 Copilot Usage Report analyzed 37.5 million de-identified conversations from January to September, revealing patterns in how employees engage with the tool - often for content creation and data analysis.
A MIT Media Lab report from August 2025 found that 95% of generative AI pilots, including those like Copilot, fail to deliver rapid revenue acceleration, echoing the monologue's low usage stats (e.g., only 47 openings).
Similarly, a Fortune article noted that while individual productivity gains exist, broader P&L impacts are minimal, with many deployments stalling due to lack of clear metrics.
On ROI, Microsoft touts impressive figures: a Forrester study from October 2024 (updated for 2025) showed up to 353% ROI for small and medium businesses through reduced costs and time savings.
Case studies highlight savings of thousands of hours monthly, yet critics argue these are often unsubstantiated, much like the author's fabricated "40,000 hours." A Harvard Business Review piece from September 2025 warned of "AI-generated workslop" eroding skills and destroying productivity, with routine reliance on tools like Copilot leading to stagnation.
Security concerns also loom: a 2026 preview from Concentric AI highlighted Copilot's over-permissioning risks, potentially exposing sensitive data. The monologue's dismissal of alternatives like Claude or ChatGPT in favor of "enterprise security" rings true, as enterprises prioritize compliance (e.g., GDPR, SOC 2), but hidden costs - like additional compute fees - can inflate expenses beyond the base $30.
Despite the satire, adoption surges: 77% of enterprises report productivity enhancements, per ElectroIQ's 2025 stats. Microsoft's internal push, as shared in a December 2025 blog, gamifies Copilot use to boost engagement. Yet, Reddit anecdotes from November 2025 mirror the monologue: developers stopping Copilot use without productivity drops, suggesting hype often outpaces reality.
In essence, this monologue exposes the emperor's new clothes of AI transformation - where metrics like "AI-enablement" justify spending, but true value requires more than buzzwords. As companies eye expansions, the key takeaway: measure impact rigorously, or risk becoming another cautionary tale in the AI hype cycle.
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Author: Slava Vasipenok
Founder and CEO of QUASA (quasa.io) - Daily insights on Web3, AI, Crypto, and Freelance. Stay updated on finance, technology trends, and creator tools - with sources and real value.
Innovative entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience in IT, fintech, and blockchain. Specializes in decentralized solutions for freelancing, helping to overcome the barriers of traditional finance, especially in developing regions.
