25.08.2022 09:30

An Introvert Mother of an Extrovert Child Craving for Solitude: Why You should Feel Guilty?

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Being naughty and loud are the innate qualities of children but the extroverted children are abundantly blessed with these 2 qualities. Raising such children can be difficult for parents. It is even much more difficult for introverted parents. But the things become exponentially overwhelming if you happen to be the (introvert) mother of an extrovert child. One of the most difficult tasks is to make your child understand that you actually need some solitude occasionally; that if you don’t talk to him for half an hour does not mean that you are angry with him.

In fact many such mothers prefer to “tolerate” the nonstop babble-bombardment of their babies rather than telling them that they need to allow them some quality quiet time. To use the precise words they feel “guilty” stopping their extroverted children from exercising their nature.

Now the million dollar question (that we would wish you to answer wrong as we really don’t have all those million dollars to give you):

“Should you feel guilty telling your children that you need a quiet space for yourself?”

Yes You do!  Let us tell you why!

You need to feel guilty if…………

You exercise harsh ways to quiet your extrovert child so you can enjoy some precious moments of peace

If you scold your child harshly, lock him up in a room or in extreme cases beat him up just to inculcate in him the habit of being quiet, especially while in your company, you are doing a great injustice. This way you are not only stifling his child instincts to exercise his personality without restrictions but also stunting his growth by raising him as a different personality (extrovert being forced to act as an introvert).

In many cases such children might develop personality disorders. Such children may also be compelled to adapt wrong habits in order to announce his rebellion. (Read on…… to know the right way of telling the same thing to your child!) 

Allowing them unrestricted liberty to enjoy video games, net surfing and TV watching

The activities like video games, net browsing and TV watching can absorb the child’s attention and also help you to enjoy some great moments in solitude. It is preferred by most of the introvert moms as they do not feel guilty of suppressing their child’s need to enjoy the interactive activities. The child’s happily occupied, mother’s basking in her island of solitude and internet/video games have assumed the role of a teacher by increasing the child’s IQ and strategic skills: a perfect picture isn’t it? No, it isn’t!

These activities (net surfing/videogames/TV watching) are like double edged sword and while they do absorb the child’s attention and offer them a good dose of knowledge, they can also spoil them in absence of proper adult supervision. Many video games may be detrimental to the child’s character and attract them to violence.

Apart from that, spending a lot of time playing the games or browsing the net can make your child disconnected with the real world and can make them excessively imaginative. The worst repercussions include visiting adult sites, chatting with inappropriate people and even being trapped by paedophile.

 You outsource your role to your husband

While we do support gender equality, we just cannot deny the fact that expecting you husband to play mother’s role is like pushing the envelope a bit too far. Both the parents should equally share the responsibilities of raising a child. Overburdening your husband to play dual role of a father and mother just because you want to enjoy solitude is a great injustice you can do to both child and the father.

Besides you just cannot blame your husband if he is not able to harbor a feeling of ownership to the motherly responsibilities that have been outsourced to him. While you can expect a father to teach his child to be worldly wise, not all husbands are engineered to teach them about moral values, tell bedtime stories and enhancing their emotional quotient as effectively as a mother does. In many cases the child does grow up as a worldly wise person but lacks the adequate emotional quotient or moral values.
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