Hello!
Matt, a professional Santa who teaches at Ministry of Fun UK - a school which has been running for 25 years - can't remember meeting Father Christmas as a child, noting his experience clearly 'wasn't horrific' but 'nor was it brilliant and memorable' either.
And it's one small part of the reason he decided to train to become a Santa himself and now teaches others, telling UNILAD the big no-nos of taking on the role of the big-bearded Saint Nick.
Matt explained you often see a 'bad Santa' in places such as 'schools and shopping centres' where they say 'well anyone can put on the suit'.
"But you can't. A bad father Christmas is a bloke in a red suit with a crap beard who says, 'Hello, what's your name? What do you want for Christmas?'" he continued. "Whereas a good Father Christmas performer doesn't ask any of those questions because he knows the answer because he saw that child last year and visited them on Christmas Eve, of course, [...] and may've received their letter [...] so they'll know what's on it."
But what other big red flags does Matt keep an eye out for when training up the next batch of Father Christmases?
Matt explained at Santa school there's 'not so much things [trainees] have to do' but more 'certainly things that [teachers] say not to do'. Such as 'not recognising the [child], not knowing who they are'.
"Because of course, we've seen them previous years," Matt added.
He continued: "One key thing is not to promise anything, we have no idea what you know what present their parents, carers or families will end up getting for that child, so you can't promise anything."
Matt noted it's also about 'just ensuring' Santas 'don't say or do anything to break the belief that they are the real Father Christmas'. Santa should be 'safe, warm [...] and magical'. Oh, and they should 'know about the toys'.
Matt explained that Santas are given 'the lowdown' on the 10 most popular toys each year and which are new.
"So if a child goes into see Father Christmas and says, 'I want...' Like Barbie's back this year, for example, and there's a lot of things in the merchandise range of Barbie. Then of course Father Christmas should know about that because he and the elves are busy preparing and making them in the workshop," he said.
"So we make sure Father Christmas doesn't say, 'What's that?' When a child asks for something, because of course he knows. All sorts of things like that, really that are are integral to ensuring that the child believes."
And while this all may seem manageable, a surprising number of trainee Santas don't make the cut.
Matt revealed an 'excess of 500 people' haven't qualified as professional Santas over the year.
He warned: "It's really not for everyone. We've met some wonderful performers, wonderful actors, who just don't quite take to the role for one reason or another.
"We've had well known TV presenters and celebrities that have come down, wanting to try it because it's quite interesting. And I think they sometimes think, 'Oh, this'll be easy'. And then they've gone, 'Oh, actually, it's really difficult'. Because children are a wonderful audience, but there are challenging audience because you don't get away with much. [...] So you've got to be really on your guard."
Matt explained some people find it difficult because in 'most cases' there 'isn't a script' to being Santa and the 'four, five, six-minute encounter that can go in many different directions'.
"And that isn't something that everyone is able to cope with," he reflected.
So, what do Santas get taught at Father Christmas school then?
Well, they get taught the 'tools' and 'techniques' which include ways to find out children's name, age and whether they've written them a list so it gives the child the 'impression' they already know.
"Ask them to remind you whether they do or don't have a chimney etc, whether we're going to be at the same house this year," he added.
Overall, Matt resolved: "So, just tools in order to ensure that that meeting with a child is one that is believable - that he's a real, living, breathing, magical being.
"So, a bad Father Christmas, I think, just says, 'Hello. What's your name? What do you want for Christmas? And it's just a bit formulaic and nothing.
"Whereas a good performer absolutely makes that child have no doubt that they've been in the presence of the real man - who does exist by the way."
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